Bring That Ass Here Essays - , Term Papers

Bring That Ass Here 1AC Devane's Standup How y'all doing white folk? I got a couple of things I want a talk about while we're in this debate round I hate my job I think it's just that I hate working It's a black thing I'm telling you We funny You ever woke up and tried to trick yourself into thinking you had didn't have to be at work til later? Maybe my schedule said 10 not 9 Cause working a job ain't fun Especially when you got a bad job You know how you know got a bad job You only get a 30 minute lunch You ever try to take a nap during the lunch You wake up cranky than a Mufucka I ain't doing shit else today Black people the only people I know that'll go to work and get a attitude when they have to work I remember I used to work in the stockroom at Sears so you know we did all the hard stuff so when I ask for some help I'm assuming the other workers would comply ya know I was wrong. I'd come upstairs like "hey could you find these pair of clothes and just leave them on the register so I can get them later" this bitch came on action " I used to just take shit breaks I'd excuse to the bathroom and be in there going ham on the toilet and then I'd just sit there til i felt better Speaking of shitty predicaments Anybody still live with they mom? C'mon don't act holier than thou You ever try to fuck when ya moms was home That's some secret agent shit I swear errtime I fucked in my moms house, I was scared like George Zimmerman at the million man march Like a nigga would just walk up on me at any minute You know what's foul? Not living at home and then moving back in the house Cause of course things for you have changed but in your parents eyes everything the same I'm 20 years old and my moms still be trynna enforce a curfew on me Matter of fact I need to leave out this bitch to get home for she lock a nigga out The first thing that I wanna say is that debate is funny as hell I mean as an activity this shit is bonkers. I know you agree with me cause when people ask you to explain what debate is you always hit em with the "UHHHHH C'MON NIGGA!" I mean when white do debate its a lot easier to understand - *in white voice* it's about reading competitive policy options or defending the status quo. I'm telling you I was down man I was I really was. I was the man on politics. But I couldn't spread Like y'all are fast shit. dead ass I used to practice speaking like them white kids at Northwestern and Michigan State. (does fake spread) I couldn't get with it though. That long ass strand of semen hanging from your top lip - tf is that? I hate when people watch the debate documentaries then find out that I debate. My cousin caught me at thanksgiving one year "Ay man you do that debate stuff right?' "Yeah I'm pretty good" "so you could do the reading fast?" "yeah to an extent" "do it for me" Or my favorite thing "Oh you're on the debate team? Good good. Debate me about something. *holds up G2* debate me about why we shouldn't use pens" The second thing I wanna talk about is this dumb ass resolution: umm public service announcement - niggas only care about the marijuana portion of the topic. Like that shit hit the core of niggas hearts and shit. but then you think about how niggas would go about SELLING the weed and then reality check - they trynna price you out the game nigga. You really think your little 2 for 15 is gonna compare with the Walmart value pack? Physician assisted suicide that shit is crazy What nigga you know is looking for a doctor to kill em? First of all, my doctor aint gonna do it. black folk is too intuned with jesus to go to let some doctor kill em. Secondly, who the fuck bout to pay a nigga to kill them